Often, you’ll hear people say, “the past is gone, let it go.” But we at Deslongchamps Recovery do not believe that.

We know that actually the past is alive and still dictating the present moment in many people’s lives. For sure in addicts’ lives. For those who were left as children to “deal” with it, they stayed stuck in PTSD. Even though they have grown into adults, that child is still stuck in the trauma all those years ago, and it is that hurt, sad, scared, traumatized child who is calling the shots in the present moment.

That is why it seems so confusing as to what is going on in people’s lives who are addicted. It seems almost mysterious how they can want to quit and do what is “right”, but they find themselves right back in their nightmare of addiction.

They have no clue that it is the child they used to be who is in control of their emotional selves. They are at the control switch, and it seems like an insanity because it appears to be uncontrollable to the adult. It is a huge frustration that builds into a severe hatred for themselves, and the cycle continues. They just cannot understand why they keep doing what they are doing.

By this time using their addictions as a coping mechanism is hardwired into their brain, they are wired to numb out. As Dr. Joe Dispenza says, “They must break the habit of being themselves, in order to recreate themselves into a new person, starting from the beginning.” We get into neuroscience as well which explains to our clients what makes them tick. Why do they do what they do?

We also know that it was our past who made us who we are, but it is our responsibility to change us into who we want to become.

We help our clients to understand what is happening, and they are able to take the mystery and confusion out of the situation.

There are so many new studies done on the effects childhood has on our overall lives. So much that it can not be ignored.

Since we understand that the leading cause of addiction is childhood trauma and disconnectedness which go hand in hand, we have included inner child therapy into our program.

We would like to say that from the time that we are conceived in our mothers’ stomach we start to pick up on her feelings, on her environment. That explains why some have a hard time placing their childhood trauma.

Sometimes our mother changed her life halfway through her pregnancy with us and turned things around for the better so that when we were born into the world, she was an amazing mother. But we have to examine what happened before she changed, what was her environment like, what was she thinking and feeling? It might just have been enough to traumatize us while in her stomach. There we find ourselves addicted as adults, and we just can’t understand where it came from. Our childhood was so good.

Sometimes we can not understand why we were the only ones out of our 5 brothers and sisters to become addicted. Trauma is not something that happens, it is how we internalize it that determines if it is traumatic or not. Since everyone is different, some children are more sensitive than others, some are more resilient than others, there are hundreds of different characteristics that can play a part in why a child internalizes an experience or event as traumatic while the other child may not.

We have seen and heard so many different variations of addicts’ childhoods, take the girl who always was treated differently than her sister. Her sister was always told how smart she was, and because she was closer in age to the rest of the kids in the family, she was always included in play times, while the younger one was a few years younger. She grew up always feeling unwanted because of situations like this, she struggled with addictions as a young adult. Her disconnectedness and hurt grew inside.

Or the boy who is the hockey player in the family, the whole family activities revolve around being a hockey family, the siblings are left neglected sometimes as a result.

The child who was forced into a sport and then went along with the family believing that they wanted to do that, but deep down inside they didn’t want to devote their whole childhood to that sport, but it was such a part of who they became that they didn’t realize it until later on in life. They were living their parents’ dreams, not their own.

All of these situations and hundreds of others brew the ingredients that can lead to addictions, add a little of this and that, and it’s an addiction. The situations that lead to addiction vary. But the main causes are trauma and disconnectedness. A child must feel like they belong in this world.

Children are narcissistic, they believe everything is because of them. The good and the bad. Why Daddy is always away, why mommy and daddy are fighting because of them, why mommy is sad, why daddy is angry, why their parents got a divorce, and the list is endless, it’s tricky business for sure.

We help our clients understand that a child is like a sponge, their brains are like soft plastic, everything that is in their environment is taken in and helps build how they see the world they live in. Dr. Bruce Lipton said, “show me a boy at the age of 7, and I’ll show you the man”.

More and more studies are proving that addiction is actually not an incurable brain disease as the old medical model leads us to believe. They usually prescribe medications to their clients, that doesn’t always stick like a band aid should. That is just covering up the root cause of the problem. It’s easier than working with the clients. But history has shown that the medical field has not been successful in their attempts to help addiction. The medical field involved in addiction recovery is usually with psychiatry advice, not psychology advice, and certainly never a natural holistic healing. Their medical books are outdated and since it is the pharmaceutical world that plays a huge role in funding the medical schools, well they keep business booming.  The doctors are not trained to deal with holistic solutions, they are taught in medical school that a pill will cure all.

In Fact, today’s modern day look on addictions is proving to be that childhood trauma is the leading cause of addictions. But you can’t give a pill for that, so it is largely discarded by the medical professionals.

We have been studying addicts for the past 40 years. We have seen the children who have grown into addictions, we spend years just talking with addicts. It is not that all traumatized children will grow up and be addicts, but every addict was traumatized as a child. Keeping in mind the factors surrounding pregnancy. That includes children who were adopted.

The children who were traumatized who do not become an addict, found a release for the trauma somewhere along the line. Sports, hobbies, interests, therapy, a teacher took a special interest in them, whatever it was, they found an outlet for that trauma.  Someone or something allowed the child to release their trauma and go in a different direction. If the trauma is not released somewhere along the way, addiction and destruction is inevitable with time.

That is why we have a look at the child within, who’s calling the shots? Is it that scared broken kid in you? Well, we will find out. Once that child is healed and valued and taken care of, then “it’s” able to grow into their adult reality.

It is such an interesting find, and it changes who you are. We replace what happened to you with what you needed to happen, and by going back in your mind to some of those events way back when, and changing them, the outcome is that you come back to the present moment a different person.

This may sound odd to you if you are hearing this for the first time. But that is part of neuroplasticity, the mind is not able to tell what is imaginary or real if all 5 of your senses are involved.

So, what we do is we go through a string of events that stood out for you as a child. Defining moments, where you were a certain way before the event happened and after the event it changed you. Don’t worry, we walk through this process very carefully. We have to find out what happened in order to change it. We cannot change what we do not acknowledge.

Like all of our programs and teaching at Deslongchamps Recovery, this one is going to change your life. It’s time to let go and grow up into a happy person. You have suffered enough.